Day 16 - Your views on mainstream music.
I like prog rock because I’m pretentious.
No one listens to prog rock anymore, probably because most people are just not pretentious enough.
So let’s look at some modern popular music:
Miley Cyrus
Teenage pop sensations annoy me. I mean, to think that when Miley Cyrus was my age, it was July.
(And she had made more money than most people see in their entire lives.)
I don’t listen to Miley if I can avoid it. Party in the USA is very underwhelming, and the lyrics don’t make sense. “Yeah” is an interjection, not an adjective. Furthermore, it’s about people who are not only having fun, but also in California. Both of these things make me angry.
Kanye West is a gay fish.
Lady Gaga
A lot of people can’t get away with dresses made of meat. I, for one, wouldn’t want anything to do with a girl who wears the insides of cows to a dance.
That being said, I have heard a little bit of Lady Gaga on Goon FM, and it was surprisingly listenable. I did not expect this, and since then I have found it difficult to put down pop artists without listening to their music.
50 Cent should have more references to John F. Kennedy in his songs, I think.
Justin Bieber
Justin Bieber is younger than I am, knows less than I do, looks more like a lesbian than I do, isn’t as funny as I think I am, and yet has more sex every day than I ever will in my entire life. What the hell, Justin Bieber?
I’m not terribly religious, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it comes out later on that he sold his soul (and manhood) to the devil for his ability to attract girls.
He’s probably tormented at night by the irony. To attract girls, he had to get rid of everything that made him a man.
Beiber, you could have been so much more. You could have been an electrician, or a carpenter, or a plumber. You know, something useful. Why did you have to do this to yourself?
Taylor Swift
Doonesbury can explain this better than I:
There’s probably some more I could write about if I could think of who they were. Please, do give me some more people to write about.
