Do not eat this blog.: Archive

1 tag

How it works.

VitoCorleone: 	and girls don't like smart guys for some reason :(
donoteat: 	well of course
Kristian: 	thats because smart guys looks like some turds
Kristian: 	just look at me and you vito
Kristian: 	we're like the most awesome guys ever
donoteat: 	smart guys are too clever
TampaPowers: 	ya, you considered guys yet, thats usually something else?
Kristian: 	yet we look horrible
donoteat: 	ex.
donoteat: 	man calls smart guy "dumbass"
donoteat: 	smart guy shrugs it off as not worth pursuing
donoteat: 	man calls dumb guy "dumbass"
donoteat: 	dumb guy beats that guy up
donoteat: 	girls think "oooh he's so strong"
donoteat: 	dumb guy gets teh sex0rz
donoteat: 	this is how the world works

Dec 28th

2 tags

Dec 27th

2 tags

Day 21 - One of your favorite shows.

Damn good show. (Although I like to make fun of it almost as much as I like to watch it.) This is what REAL MEN watch while you’re all off watching Glee or whatever.

Dec 22nd

2 tags

Day 20 - How important you think education is.

Education is a mixed bag. If you’re uneducated in America, chances are you’re going on to business school and then to an overpaid middle-management position. There, you will send out poorly-punctuated motivational e-mails to your staff, often written in ALLCAPS because IT’S MORE ENTHUSIASTIC THAT WAY, RIGHT? You’ll spend four hours commuting every day in your BMW M3 on the...

Dec 21st

2 tags

Day 19 - Disrespecting your parents.

Well my parents feed me and clothe me and pay all my bills and are generally very nice people to me, so naturally I should be showing them the utmost contempt and be generally unpleasant to them. That’s the cool thing to do, right?

Dec 20th

4 tags

Day 18 - Your Beliefs

This is a very broad topic, so I’ll just pick random topics out of Wikipedia’s List of controversial issues to give my beliefs on. The 2003 invasion of Iraq was for oil. Everyone hates the ACLU, so they must be doing something good. Detroit will rise again someday, though not without first demolishing some priceless pieces of early 20th century architecture needlessly. Gays and Lesbians...

Dec 19th

2 tags

Day 17 - Your highs and lows of this past year.

This year’s high: Blacksburg, VA. 2080 feet above sea level. This year’s low: Washington, DC. Anacostia River. 0 feet above sea level. This is what they mean, right?

Dec 18th

1 tag

Dec 18th

35,397 notes

4 tags

Day 16 - Your views on mainstream music.

I like prog rock because I’m pretentious. No one listens to prog rock anymore, probably because most people are just not pretentious enough. So let’s look at some modern popular music: Miley Cyrus Teenage pop sensations annoy me. I mean, to think that when Miley Cyrus was my age, it was July. (And she had made more money than most people see in their entire lives.) I don’t...

Dec 18th

2 tags

Dec 18th

3 tags

Day 15 - Your favorite tumblrs.

http://kimjongillookingatthings.tumblr.com/ Dear leader of Best Korea Kim Jong-Il likes to look at things. http://notch.tumblr.com/ MINECRAFT MINECRAFT MINECRAFT MINECRAFT MINECRAFT MINECRAFT http://fakescience.tumblr.com/ Better than real science. http://fuckyeahvictorians.tumblr.com/ Victorians, fuck yeah!

Dec 17th

2 tags

Day 14 - Your earliest memory.

My earliest memory is walking around in the kitchen, being kind of bored. It is clearer in my mind than the trip to Disneyworld. I don’t know why.

Dec 16th

2 tags

Dec 16th

Anonymous asked: Why do we have hair?
Why buy a tie?
Do you use a tire-iron to iron your tires? I don't think that would be very useful.

Dec 15th

2 tags

Dec 15th

2 tags

Day 13 - Somewhere you’d like to move or visit.

I’d really like to visit a city on the moon, but we haven’t got any yet. So I guess I’ll have to restrict myself to more conventional locations. Angel Falls, Venezuela. 2,468 feet from top to bottom. Still ludicrously difficult to access, even though it’s a major tourist draw. Wouldn’t want to live there (it would be very wet) but I would certainly go for a...

Dec 15th

3 tags

I'm at school right now

And I’m writing on my tumblr. I think it’s going to be lunch time soon. I should probably get back to work.

Dec 14th

5 tags

Day 12 - Bullet your whole day.

Woke up Ate breakfast Went to train station. Got in train. It was reasonably on time today. Had free pass ripped up, because apparently it’s not enough to validate it anymore. Train got to within a half-mile of Alexandria. It stopped. Switch was frozen ahead. Waited 20 minutes. Train started moving. Train arrived at Alexandria. Left train, went down staircase. Ignored homeless man...

Dec 14th

5 tags

Dec 13th

3 tags

Day 11 - Put your ipod on shuffle and write 10...

Pearl Jam - Sweet Lew Peter Gabriel - Fourteen Black Paintings Squeeze - Cool for Cats Johanne Sebastian Bach - Brandenburg No. 6 Allegro Doobie Brothers - Without You Billy Joel - My Life Elvis Costello - Talking in the Dark Bruce Springsteen - Blinded by the Light (‘MER’CA) Frank Zappa - King Kong Amazing stuff, isn’t it?

Dec 12th

3 tags

Day 10 - Discuss your first love and first kiss.

See day 1.

Dec 12th

4 tags

Day 09 - How you hope your future will be like.

I expect to have a flying car and to live in a city on the moon. Is that too much to ask for? We could have them in only four more five-year plans, comrades.

Dec 11th

2 tags

Day 08 - A moment you felt the most satisfied with...

Got that crazy homecoming article out for the school paper last year. I felt like I had really accomplished something there. Then getting the school paper out on time for the first time ever. That was pretty good. TUNE IN TOMORROW FOR ANOTHER HIGHLY INTERESTING POST!

Dec 11th

2 tags

Day 07 - Your zodiac sign and if you think it fits...

I am an Aries. I don’t know what that means.

Dec 10th

3 tags

Day 06 - Write 30 interesting facts about...

1. I am a man. 2. I have a set of novelty hazmat placards. 3. I am a cat person. (OH GOD WHAT KIND OF A MONSTER IS HE GET HIM AWAY) 4. I take a train to school. (like a normal person) 5. Today I ate a sandwich. 6. I’m probably going to eat a sandwich tomorrow, too. 7. I talk to myself when there’s no one around. I think most people do that. 8. Sometimes when I’m trying to...

Dec 10th

1 tag

I think tumblr has the dates confused.

It’s supposed to publish these posts automatically, and it’s already on day 05 after two days. Something is wrong here.

Dec 10th

5 tags

Day 05 - A time you thought about ending your own...

Haven’t really. Seems to be no point in it. So long as you are alive, there is a potential that things will get better. If you kill yourself you just lose that potential. Plus when you get to the line for registration with St. Peter at the pearly gates, you’ll probably end up in line with a bunch of people who lived their entire, much more miserable lives much more fully than you...

Dec 9th

3 tags

Day 04 - Your views on religion.

Religion is good. Some people don’t agree with some religions, which is why there are other religions they can convert to. Some people aren’t satisfied with organized religion, so they chose to praise their own deity or deities in their own ways, or they do not worship any at all, either because they do not believe that their deity or deities require worship, or because they do not...

Dec 9th

Anonymous asked: Can I eat this blog if I make an edible version of it out of fondant?

Dec 9th

4 tags

Day 03 - Your views on drugs and alcohol.

Drugs are good. They help sick people recover from diseases. They can relieve pain from minor injuries. Some drugs may have undesirable side-effects, which is why for many drugs you have to have a prescription from a doctor. Alcohol is good. You can power engines with it, and it is safer to use as a solvent for paint than lead. It also is an effective antiseptic. Some alcohols, like methanol, are...

Dec 8th

3 tags

Day 02 - Where you’d like to be in 10 years.

Here: Luzern is a very nice city with very nice mountains. That’s not to say that I don’t want to live in the United States, far from it. I like the US, because you can buy guns and no one cares. I’d just like to be taking reasonably frequent trips to Europe on important business/important vacation. They have nice things over there. As for jobs, I’d like to design...

Dec 8th

4 tags

Day 01 - Your current relationship, if single...

I’m single. I have been for about 17 years now. It’s a low-maintenance relationship. Haven’t had terrible difficulties from this situation yet; the crippling depression and ennui of single life doesn’t really set in, as I understand it, until you’ve experienced a fulfilling relationship. I haven’t experience a fulfilling relationship, or any relationship at...

Dec 8th

4 tags

How to complete those 30-day post things.

I’ve seen hundreds of people do those 30-day post things and then stop after day 5. I did it myself. That’s why I’m going to try it again. How will I do it this time? It’s very simple. I’m going to use that publish queue thing. I’m going to write like ten days tonight, and then they will publish automatically over time. It’s wonderful what technology can...

Dec 8th

BBC has taken my Star Trek from me.

It happened. Today, after BBC World News International ended, Star Trek: The Next Generation didn’t come on. There was no announcement. There was not even an acknowledgment that it had been outed from its slot. What replaced it? Chef Gordon Ramsay, of all people. Chef Ramsay’s programs are all just an exposition of how many F-bombs he can drop on unsuspecting chefs in a 1-hour...

Dec 8th

1 tag